As you say there is no way to know for certain if you made a sale, unless read it directly from the network you use (and they tell you the truth¿?).
The only thing you could do is use the "customId" (clickref, subId, reference....) to know which link is making the sale or something like that.
The other way is become your own affiliate network, but it's quite difficult as you need the technology and contact the merchant.
I hope it helps!
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