Critique my saleletter

28-01-06

Please critique my saleletter, and please be harsh. Thanks

http://www.cardiacgym.com/the%20final%20ultimate.html

**stevenm** · 28-01-06

The phrase "Spammy Overhyped Crap" instantly comes to mind.

Steven

**AndyO** · 28-01-06

Personally, I think it looks awful! The look and feel of this is "spammy" & American and to be honest, the text isn't much better......

**Itchy** · 28-01-06

To be honest it wouldnt get a lar la lar la la lookin just shouts spam
make it smaller add links to ya site and let people decide that they really can afford to pass up this offer.

**christh** · 29-01-06

It's amazing how so many people advocate the single 'neverending page of text' approach to sales copy. Does it really work? I utterly switch off at the sight of those things.

**numberonepinner** · 29-01-06

Okay, i asked about critiquing my saleletter not calling my stuff spammy crap. I was just asking for help not negative studd to put my hard work down. Its alright, i will just keep on rolling

**renegade** · 29-01-06

Originally Posted by numberonepinner

Okay, i asked about critiquing my saleletter not calling my stuff spammy crap. I was just asking for help not negative studd to put my hard work down. Its alright, i will just keep on rolling

Just because you call it a saleletter doesn't mean it isn't spammy crap. It really is apallingly bad american style spam.

**drivetowin** · 29-01-06

And you did say 'please be harsh'

**aramyus** · 29-01-06

A page like this one would never make me buy anything, however, I found the page much less crappy than many other similar pages. (I am French)

Some of you suggest that this style is not suitable for the UK market as being too spammy. But do you have any comparative evidence of that ? If so, please comment.

Sure I hate this selling style, but some public seem to enjoy it. It would be a good idea to compare your page with top sellers pages of the same segment in clickbank. Your might find that your page is too sparing for your market segment.

Bottom line, my 3 top suggestions are: test test test. Do comparative tests (split testing), measure your conversion rate and conclude.

**Lentil-Warrior** · 29-01-06

silly person.

**numberonepinner** · 29-01-06

Okay i will take your suggestions and i'm not taking yall comments to heart because i'm a Christian. I am American and didn't realized how differnt American culture and English culture is, in American we would find comments such as spamy crap rude but maybe not in the UK. Nothing personal but for know i can truely say i'm proud to be an American

**stevenm** · 29-01-06

Sorry if my comments caused offence but you did ask us to be harsh. It doesn't surprise me that you're American. A completely different approach is needed here as pages like yours genuinely are considered "spammy crap" here.

Best wishes.

Steven

**drivetowin** · 29-01-06

It's not that in England to say Spammy Crap is rude its just that in America one long page of sales waffle sells and in England it doesn't - just like your books have lots of pictures and ours have lots of words - as you say - different cultures....

**smn2** · 03-02-06

Hi,

It always amuses me how people (UK people?) respond
to salesletter sites. I am English, and I have bought
good products from so-called salesletter sites. Conversely,
I'm sure there are many Americans who also hate salesletter
sites, too.

As aramyus says you need to test, and not ask for
opinions (helpful or otherwise). For example, I know lots
of people who hate TV advertising, and say they're not
influenced by it, but still they buy the products advertised
- 'as if by magic'! To coin an American expression, 'Go figure.'

Again, test and don't ask for opinions.

Re. spammy crap sites, I've seen some awful affiliate
sites that I'd call 'spammy crap' but then the affiliate
could turn round and say that he/she makes £5000+ per
month from it, so what do I know!

Basically, asking for a critique of a sales letter site from
people that are not your target audience is not a useful
exercise.

The only true way to know if it's good, i.e. if the site
sells, is to test like aramyus says.

And like some spammy sales letter, I'm starting to repeat
myself now. Ooops

Steve

**christh** · 03-02-06

Well as I said in my post up there I'm just curious if those sites work over here. They don't work for me, back / X button as soon as I see the format. I think the roasting the original poster got was a bit harsh though (..even though he asked for the harshness)

I point the odd bit of traffic to clickbank ebooks with the OP's salesletter style and the conversation rate is decent - but I'm only targeting the Americans.